As the saying goes, "in retrospect, all is beautiful", with a blink of the eye and 4 years just whizzed past us like a Formula One race car. Looking back at all the fun moments along the IP corridor (and not getting caught); the crazy moments when we stayed up till the wee hours to rush out our assignments; the triumphant moments as we admired the star-studded GPA (discount the higher chinese grade); the fiery moments as we tore down our classrooms with our heated debates; the stressful moments when we stayed up till 9pm in the artic-freezing library to mug for promos; the joyful moments as we saw the beauty of human body, mind and soul in attaining the holy grail's of our various CCAs; the blissful moments as we see our "closer" friends becoming a LITTLE BIT more closer while trying really hard to persuade that they are universe(s) apart, I guess nothing beats the kaleidoscopic experience that I've got in this school.
Do not be mistaken! I am not singing praises of the C****'s administration for making my 4 short years here in NJ such a wonderful one. It was the people whom I met for the past four years that made the originally prosaic life of mine to be painted with the most vibrant and majestic colours. It was also the experiences that this place has given to me which will remind me of this place wherever I go.
Before I applied into NJ, it was already notoriously and mockingly labelled as a mugger school. With nothing else except for the library that is always filled up after school, blazing red-hot shorts (with tiny pockets that cannot even hold a handphone) that makes guys look like sissies, girls with long skirts stretching from the torso to the knees and students carrying a books heavier than bricks [I shall drop all the commentaries about the hair, the glasses and other what-nots]. I still applied to this school as many SJI seniors came back and told us about their experiences in NJ. I remembered that it was Justin (the undisputed champ of 202 when it comes to studies back then) who told me about this programme and I thought he was joking with me.
So I printed out the forms and shamelessly tried to squeeze in as much "achievements" when there was a freakin-big blank space left out for us to write our achievements. Somehow, by hook or by crook, I got past the GAT and the AAT. I thought I was going to die for my English section as I guessed 90% of the vocab questions (and I'm very sure that there are still some words which I do not know right now). I could still remember Jessica coming out of the test saying that the she had "no hope" already. Then came the interview. I remembered vividly that it was Mr Whitby who interviewed me and I thought: freak! My English is so bloody lousy and now I keena the English HOD for interview. Worst still, Mr Whitby asked 90% of the questions with the other four occassionally nodding their heads and laughing at my response. I could still remember that I told him that I saw this programme as something new and daring and we are all going to be like guinea pigs when he asked me why I applied for this programme. It sounded really silly, but I think that might be one of the most honest response I will make in my entire life. I really meant it and I really became the guinea pig. LOL.
05IP03 was one of the greatest gift that God can ever give me. Unlike the rowdy class of 202, this was a place where competition really heats up, but also a place of never-ending laughters. We were the sportiest class (and still is, even when Cat and co. idles around during PE classes XD), the most creative class (street-fighter style to present properties of two elements on the periodic table and using materials such as LED light bulbs, hair gel for river model project), the best humanities class under Mr Ho. We were so good that we get 1 mark deduction for a typo error in writing Cl as CL. That aside, we were also notorious for being the gambling den, girls with drawstrings and safety pins and an honest guy whose shirt was tucked out because of FRICTION with the chair! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I wonder who) Even as we moved up, we tried as hard as we can to remain close and go crazy together once in a while, for example, watching "Love actually" 20 hours before the Bio MCQ paper during prelims!
But it was place is MORE than that. It gave me opportunities to see the beautiful world out there with an immersion trip to China that showed me how China developed from its dilapidated state back in the 1960s to a cosmopolitan one (HanDong, thanks for the two weeks being my room mate and all those lame jokes we shared), a CSR trip to Bangkok that showed me what poverty is really all about and the simplicity of life and the greatest one of all, the trip to London that showed me what being a global citizen is all about. It was a trip that really showed me how big this world is and the unlimited opportunities which we can seek when we are willing to do so. In terms of character, I think I had learnt a lot through intereactions with other people who were perfect embodiments of virtuous qualities such as humility, courage and leadership. I will always remember the glorious year of Solaris under Sasha and the 40th HAT. She is an epitome of what leadership is all about. Even though she was quite competitive at times and even demanding in the quest for perfection (we practiced A LOT for the walk-in), she was always there to do it with us and not just leave us with all the work. [Monetary contributions were immense too, thanks to Jo HAHAHAHAHAHA] Then there was Faisal, the pizza-man! SUPER down-to-earth and try-to-be-funny council pres. And now, he became the no. 1 bachelor-on-demand with those dangerous curves he got from Tekong. HAHAHAHAHAHA! But life was not always about the good things. There were bad ones too. The disappointments when we did not get our Golds at SYF; the U's we've got that demoralised us; the heated arguments that nearly ended our friendships; the bacstabbings which will remains hidden; or realising such backstabbings during our daily gossips and trying very hard to hide our emotions; to learn that you were betrayed by people whom you believed to be righteous and honest; but the worst of all, the excruciating emotional pain as we realise that all our love has been misplaced.
But then, it is only when we have tasted bitter then we know what is sweet.
The last reason which made this place so unique is its resemblance to the island which many call it home (or they did not have a choice but to call it so). In NJ, we have lots of "cheena" people who think they are very good in chinese, but uses a mix of hokkien, teochew, cantonese and mandarin to string a sentence; just like the current working class which spoke Chinese at home while educated in English in school. We have a super repressed minority group, but an extremely smart one, that adopted the semi-exotic name of "Arts FACULTY" (WOW) and resorted to producing T-shirts and pullovers to joke about their science-streamed counterparts (unless they can convince me that it isn't an intentional pun); just like the local arts community that constantly criticises the government's emphasis on sciences. We have a pretty strong-willed administration that vows to ameliorate the prosaic lives of NJCians through countless Feedback sessions with people raising issues such as "toilet cubicle locks not working", "clocks not working", "why canteen so packed" and the uglier and more controversial ones such as "feeling sorry to see two pillars in our dance studio"; just like the current government that tries to improve our lives with Meet-the-people session when some of the people attend such sessions with the motive of getting a waiver for their parking fines. We also have an admin that tries to spice up our lives with programmes such as SISC; just like how the government is trying to spice up the lives of Singaporeans with events such as World Gourmet Summit and Formula One. I shall not go on to debate about the criticisms these events had received.
There are so many memories that are tied with this school, from the library to the canteen, from teachers to friends. I guess a pretty big chunk of my life for the past 4 years was filled up by school-related stuff (yes.. even the holidays was spent in research labs doing research). I think it is the time to savour on all these past experiences and harness some motivational force from these wonderful memories to power us in this final lap and end the journey on a high note.
Can't imagine how would farewell assembly be like on friday... don't think I will cry lah... but oh wells....
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Some midnight rambling after prelims
Prelims are officially O-V-E-R. I know a big "yay" should be following after this, but I have no idea why am I not saying it "yay". It should mean one of the deepest sense of relief/enjoyment/excitement but yet I have NO IDEA how am I going to celebrate at all. And worse so, I have no one to celebrate with. That's a double dosage of loneliness and lack-of-direction-in-life that makes life pretty... boring.
A boring life.
What should we do about it? Inject humour, hang out with friends, do something adventurous, do something crazy etc. It's easy to list out the options, but I seem to be restricting myself and reducing all these options to scrap. Inject humour, right. HA-HA-HA. That's all! Short-lived. Do something adventurous... most probably OBS-related stuff. But OBS is in Ubin. Do something crazy... well, I'm not going to say "I'm a pervert" in the middle of Orchard road, somewhat conservative of me. Hang out with friends. Unfortunately, my complex brain and pre-dispositions have taught me that many of my friendships right now are going to be really transient. Who knows, 5 years down the road, I won't recall or keep in contact with them. I am seriously regreting my "foreign policy" (i.e. relationship management) is pretty lousy for the past 4 years. I have 3 CCAs and 1 class. But when it comes to close friends, I don't think I can even list one or two. Extrapolating, one can imagine how many friend-friends that I have, perhaps more of acquaintances.
Perhaps it's time to let God "take the credit" and let him be in charge (well, I should be letting him take charge since I belief in God) of my life. I really need to understand what is happiness and what I should do to get it. I guess it's really time to surrender life to destiny/fate/divine being with so much uncertainties and so many queries that is beyond the faculties of reasoning of a human being.
Talking about future, there has been lots of concerns over Uni education lately. But why not, it's really time to plan ahead and really think about what you want in life and how you want to pursue it. Another question that comes into debate is whether we are going overseas or staying in Singapore for uni education. Given the choice, I guess around half of the cohort will want to get themselves out of this (sickening)place. Singapore is not a bad place, it never was. We have multicultures, racial harmony, economic prosperity (in relative terms), efficient albeit "autocratic" government and last but not least, the kiasuism that has been pushing us up the ranks for the past 40 years. Then the equation doesn't fit! How can the puzzle not be solved when every piece of the puzzle is in place? Well, the problem may well lie in the solution itself. To compete with other financial metropolis, we have become so competitive and fast-paced, so much so that we beginning to show signs of fatigue. People are tired of such hectic lifestyles even when the government tries to do whatever they can to spice up the our lives (e.g. develop arts, F1, clarke quay etc.). And as rational people, we look for alternates (i.e. the greener pastures), US, UK and even CHINA to a certain extent.
Talking about slack life of westerners, sometimes I seriously doubt how good westerners can be. Look at SATs, look at GCSE ... the standards are appalling! These are not going to prepare them for a globally competitive world for goodness sake. And don't blame governments for not protecting your rice bowls. Look at the French, apart from the comparative advantage in winery, good food and airbus consortium, they have hardly anything which they are famous for. When new labour laws are passed that reduces job security, the kids go on strike and protest. A minimum 35 hours a week is seriously piece of cake, average 7 hours per workday, e.g. 9am to 5pm (+1 hour lunch). Look at our guys in CBD area munching down their lunches within 15 minutes, working 24/7 and threatens to be fired when they are not up to task such that we remain in the constant state of fear. But if you compare the real wages, it's a world of difference. They have everything subsidised, rebates, co-payments etc. while we face imported inflation, tariff barriers, non-tarriff barriers and the constant state of fear. Where did all the justice go? This is blatantly unfair.
Conventional economics wisdom tells us that it is time for some aggregate supply management policy, more particularly, retraining and revamping of education systems. John McCain is somewhat insane: continue with the 3 trillion dollar war, tonnes of tax cuts, retraining programmes etc. WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU GETTING THE MONEY. Unless you send Tom Cruise in an impossible mission to rob the Chinese Central Bank, not even a tonne of treasury bills is enough to cover your spending. To top that up, consider the 100 billion for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and another 85 billion for AIG. You guys better pray for a hurricane that will blow money to your shores.
That's all for now... praying for... everything. haha.
A boring life.
What should we do about it? Inject humour, hang out with friends, do something adventurous, do something crazy etc. It's easy to list out the options, but I seem to be restricting myself and reducing all these options to scrap. Inject humour, right. HA-HA-HA. That's all! Short-lived. Do something adventurous... most probably OBS-related stuff. But OBS is in Ubin. Do something crazy... well, I'm not going to say "I'm a pervert" in the middle of Orchard road, somewhat conservative of me. Hang out with friends. Unfortunately, my complex brain and pre-dispositions have taught me that many of my friendships right now are going to be really transient. Who knows, 5 years down the road, I won't recall or keep in contact with them. I am seriously regreting my "foreign policy" (i.e. relationship management) is pretty lousy for the past 4 years. I have 3 CCAs and 1 class. But when it comes to close friends, I don't think I can even list one or two. Extrapolating, one can imagine how many friend-friends that I have, perhaps more of acquaintances.
Perhaps it's time to let God "take the credit" and let him be in charge (well, I should be letting him take charge since I belief in God) of my life. I really need to understand what is happiness and what I should do to get it. I guess it's really time to surrender life to destiny/fate/divine being with so much uncertainties and so many queries that is beyond the faculties of reasoning of a human being.
Talking about future, there has been lots of concerns over Uni education lately. But why not, it's really time to plan ahead and really think about what you want in life and how you want to pursue it. Another question that comes into debate is whether we are going overseas or staying in Singapore for uni education. Given the choice, I guess around half of the cohort will want to get themselves out of this (sickening)place. Singapore is not a bad place, it never was. We have multicultures, racial harmony, economic prosperity (in relative terms), efficient albeit "autocratic" government and last but not least, the kiasuism that has been pushing us up the ranks for the past 40 years. Then the equation doesn't fit! How can the puzzle not be solved when every piece of the puzzle is in place? Well, the problem may well lie in the solution itself. To compete with other financial metropolis, we have become so competitive and fast-paced, so much so that we beginning to show signs of fatigue. People are tired of such hectic lifestyles even when the government tries to do whatever they can to spice up the our lives (e.g. develop arts, F1, clarke quay etc.). And as rational people, we look for alternates (i.e. the greener pastures), US, UK and even CHINA to a certain extent.
Talking about slack life of westerners, sometimes I seriously doubt how good westerners can be. Look at SATs, look at GCSE ... the standards are appalling! These are not going to prepare them for a globally competitive world for goodness sake. And don't blame governments for not protecting your rice bowls. Look at the French, apart from the comparative advantage in winery, good food and airbus consortium, they have hardly anything which they are famous for. When new labour laws are passed that reduces job security, the kids go on strike and protest. A minimum 35 hours a week is seriously piece of cake, average 7 hours per workday, e.g. 9am to 5pm (+1 hour lunch). Look at our guys in CBD area munching down their lunches within 15 minutes, working 24/7 and threatens to be fired when they are not up to task such that we remain in the constant state of fear. But if you compare the real wages, it's a world of difference. They have everything subsidised, rebates, co-payments etc. while we face imported inflation, tariff barriers, non-tarriff barriers and the constant state of fear. Where did all the justice go? This is blatantly unfair.
Conventional economics wisdom tells us that it is time for some aggregate supply management policy, more particularly, retraining and revamping of education systems. John McCain is somewhat insane: continue with the 3 trillion dollar war, tonnes of tax cuts, retraining programmes etc. WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU GETTING THE MONEY. Unless you send Tom Cruise in an impossible mission to rob the Chinese Central Bank, not even a tonne of treasury bills is enough to cover your spending. To top that up, consider the 100 billion for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and another 85 billion for AIG. You guys better pray for a hurricane that will blow money to your shores.
That's all for now... praying for... everything. haha.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
complexity
The human mind is REALLY complex, sophisticated, creative thinking machine. In fact, it can store information that is 500 times the Encyclopedia of Britanica (not that I'm going to read it 500 times to prove this, but that's what I learnt from discovery channel).
As an budding economist/financial manager (well.. I HOPE), I do admire the capabilities of the human mind. To be aware of the slightest change in our environment and producing equally sophisticated responses to deal with such changes, be it the stock market, driving the car or choosing my running course. We have the ability to think independently and yet collaborate effectively. A research done by some guy in New York observed that people actually walk in "platoons" to avoid crashing onto each other and blockin each other's way to ensure maximum efficiency is achieved. As someone who loves economics, I admire the fundamental principles of economics: self interest, rationality and insatiability. It simply explains almost everything happening on this Earth and how we human beings are dealing with each other everyday.
But the beauty of it is also the ugly side of it. Sometimes I hate things being reduced to formulae and equations, theories and predictions. We are so complex that we think ahead of time, we extrapolate the current things into future occurences, we think we know it all when we don't know it all. And we even think that knowing it all will give the best outcome. I resent myself for reducing relationships into mutual-beneficial equations sometimes i.e. I work with you because I believe that I can get something out of you and you will get something out of me. I also resent myself for thinking what others think about me; I will have to consciously control every word that I'm saying to leave good impressions (be it in front of friends, teachers, family and perhaps even with... umm.). I feel that I have an ulterior motive everytime I do things.
I have tried some personality tests before, but I just don't like it when my brain actually process the choices and tries to decipher which choice will represent which quality and that I should choose that option to show that I'm a romantic/nice/helpful/cheerful person. Man.. I just beat the test, I know what the test is asking for?! Then why should I even bother about the doing the test in the first place???
Final thoughts: Distracted. Seriously distracted... not sure how can I get over this one at this point of time...
As an budding economist/financial manager (well.. I HOPE), I do admire the capabilities of the human mind. To be aware of the slightest change in our environment and producing equally sophisticated responses to deal with such changes, be it the stock market, driving the car or choosing my running course. We have the ability to think independently and yet collaborate effectively. A research done by some guy in New York observed that people actually walk in "platoons" to avoid crashing onto each other and blockin each other's way to ensure maximum efficiency is achieved. As someone who loves economics, I admire the fundamental principles of economics: self interest, rationality and insatiability. It simply explains almost everything happening on this Earth and how we human beings are dealing with each other everyday.
But the beauty of it is also the ugly side of it. Sometimes I hate things being reduced to formulae and equations, theories and predictions. We are so complex that we think ahead of time, we extrapolate the current things into future occurences, we think we know it all when we don't know it all. And we even think that knowing it all will give the best outcome. I resent myself for reducing relationships into mutual-beneficial equations sometimes i.e. I work with you because I believe that I can get something out of you and you will get something out of me. I also resent myself for thinking what others think about me; I will have to consciously control every word that I'm saying to leave good impressions (be it in front of friends, teachers, family and perhaps even with... umm.). I feel that I have an ulterior motive everytime I do things.
I have tried some personality tests before, but I just don't like it when my brain actually process the choices and tries to decipher which choice will represent which quality and that I should choose that option to show that I'm a romantic/nice/helpful/cheerful person. Man.. I just beat the test, I know what the test is asking for?! Then why should I even bother about the doing the test in the first place???
Final thoughts: Distracted. Seriously distracted... not sure how can I get over this one at this point of time...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The LURVE issue
Oh well... I thought it's time to write on a topic like that, after bottling up emotions for the past year or so. Let's start off with a song which I love (one of my favourite songs in my iPod)
等待
我随时随地在等待
做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱
我猜
你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊
多无奈
我愿意改变 (what can I do?)
重新再来一遍(just give me change)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深
叫我怎么能收手
但你说
I only want to be your friend
做个朋友
我在
你心中只是just a friend
不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
So I
我不能只是be your friend
I just can't be your friend
no,no,no,
我不能只是做你的朋友
不能只是做普通朋友
July was the month of emo-ness. As we step down from our CCAs and dive into school work and as we brace with each other for the final ride to the Big A's, we start to feel the nostalgia, we feel the sadness that the beautiful story is coming to an end. For the couples, its a test of love. Things change as the fate of both individuals set to change with futures hanging on a tight rope. It's now or never, my girl/boyfriend or my books (or both.. the best outcome). Personally, I hope couples that I know will survive this round, you guys have come this far. Hang in there! Disappointing as I learnt about break-ups between A**** and K*******, a pair which looked good right from the start and both put effort in maintaining it. Makes me envy them sometimes...
Coincidentally, July also happens to be the month which the youth fellowship have themed-talks on relationships (BGR, marriage) - for youth fellowship, BGR is obviously of the greater concern. First Pastor Albey talked about, how love should be like, rather than defining the rules of love. A few things that really hit into me. He said our love should reflect our love for God. They way which we portray our love in this modern world, very much reflects our love for God. I mean, it makes sense, if we don't even know how to love a physical human being that stands right in front of us, alive, how can we expect to love God? Someone who is supernatural, someone who can't be seen, but yet his power is beyond our greatest imagination. Another point that struck me, that when we start loving, or at least think you like the person, don't ask what he/she can do for you, but what you can do for him/her. It sounds like some JFK quote that "don't ask what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"... but it's true isn't it. Love in its purest form should be not be selfish and self-centred. So start thinking of other before ourselves. [This reminds me of the Josephian Pledge "to be man of integrity and man for others"]
So what's with the song? I like this song because it describes the "loser" in a relationship. We have been much flooded by the idol dramas that there will always be "winners" and no "losers" when it comes to love and relationships as we will grow in terms of emotional maturity and view life with a much more enhanced lens, seeing through all the complexities and what-nots. Personally, there are losers when it comes to relationships, and more particularly, the silent losers. Those that stand at the sidelines and face the whole process alone just to ensure others around him are not affected. (I think this is too "cheaply" described, I'm very sure that there are so much more complexities when it comes to this) I admire such courage and such capacity of individuals who can really bottle such emotions up. And those scenes which we always remember from our idol-drama series, the parts where one of the lead just stepped out to allow another pair to come together, turns around and leaves with a fading and fainting smile before breaking into tears. Awww...
This song partly describes my feelings... or at least I guess so. But the "competitor" is strong. And I look up to this competitor for his charisma and perhaps... his softer side. It reminds me of what Ms Shawna Lim asked when she was talking to the group of guys from NYP with me. She said: Why you guys are so rowdy and loud? How to expect a girl like you like that?!? It set me to reflect. But the answer is simple, guys only reveal softer sides to the girl he likes. That's to make the girl feel that she is much more exclusive to him. The underlying message is simple: You're important to me. That really explains why I am silent, soft, patient and apologetic... it's not hard to observe.
Changed-men. Recently, I witness many character changes. I saw how Reuben transformed from this crazy fella with some heck-care attitude to someone who is really meticulous and caring. Like with Wenjia, one of the prettiest girls in the school... obviously have to tone things down a bit. Wenjia can be as crazy as him, but they look... compatible! haha. Then there was Junlong, whose brother was notoriously known as the cassanova (okay.. no sex involved...) way back in 04-05 as he flirted with other girls even when he was with one of the prettiest girls in the school, Maxine. Junlong started off as someone who seemed like to flirt around a lot... and even landed himself into some big trouble when he spoke something about IP ppl that ultimately cost him a place in HAT. I watched him grew through the Floorball trainings and how his character changed in becoming a much more down-to-earth and dedicated individual (to the CCA at least.. not very sure about council). He did expressed some resentments about council, but I think he is looking at this really maturely and taking things really well. But obviously why not when Yuexi (apparently one of the prettier girls among his cohort) is in council? HAHAHA. But this guy really got some style man, I like the way he treats people, like walking her over to the other side of the bus stop and seeing her leave before crossing back to wait for his bus. It's the simple things that count and I like him that way (much better than his brother...)
Recently, I watched the movie (大城小事) by Leon Lai and Faye Wong. Even though it is already the third time I'm watching it, but I still love it a lot. It puts a very traditional context into relationships of Chinese who are living in one of the fastest growing metropolis in the world. Simply love it! Really wanted to watch it again and again. Perhaps next time, with somebody... haha.
Last Thoughts: Sometimes, it's too little too late. Or it was never meant to be? If it was never meant to be, then it wouldn't have been "late" in the first place...
Sorry Es, no tagboards yet. feel free to leave comments?
等待
我随时随地在等待
做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱
我猜
你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊
多无奈
我愿意改变 (what can I do?)
重新再来一遍(just give me change)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深
叫我怎么能收手
但你说
I only want to be your friend
做个朋友
我在
你心中只是just a friend
不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
So I
我不能只是be your friend
I just can't be your friend
no,no,no,
我不能只是做你的朋友
不能只是做普通朋友
July was the month of emo-ness. As we step down from our CCAs and dive into school work and as we brace with each other for the final ride to the Big A's, we start to feel the nostalgia, we feel the sadness that the beautiful story is coming to an end. For the couples, its a test of love. Things change as the fate of both individuals set to change with futures hanging on a tight rope. It's now or never, my girl/boyfriend or my books (or both.. the best outcome). Personally, I hope couples that I know will survive this round, you guys have come this far. Hang in there! Disappointing as I learnt about break-ups between A**** and K*******, a pair which looked good right from the start and both put effort in maintaining it. Makes me envy them sometimes...
Coincidentally, July also happens to be the month which the youth fellowship have themed-talks on relationships (BGR, marriage) - for youth fellowship, BGR is obviously of the greater concern. First Pastor Albey talked about, how love should be like, rather than defining the rules of love. A few things that really hit into me. He said our love should reflect our love for God. They way which we portray our love in this modern world, very much reflects our love for God. I mean, it makes sense, if we don't even know how to love a physical human being that stands right in front of us, alive, how can we expect to love God? Someone who is supernatural, someone who can't be seen, but yet his power is beyond our greatest imagination. Another point that struck me, that when we start loving, or at least think you like the person, don't ask what he/she can do for you, but what you can do for him/her. It sounds like some JFK quote that "don't ask what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"... but it's true isn't it. Love in its purest form should be not be selfish and self-centred. So start thinking of other before ourselves. [This reminds me of the Josephian Pledge "to be man of integrity and man for others"]
So what's with the song? I like this song because it describes the "loser" in a relationship. We have been much flooded by the idol dramas that there will always be "winners" and no "losers" when it comes to love and relationships as we will grow in terms of emotional maturity and view life with a much more enhanced lens, seeing through all the complexities and what-nots. Personally, there are losers when it comes to relationships, and more particularly, the silent losers. Those that stand at the sidelines and face the whole process alone just to ensure others around him are not affected. (I think this is too "cheaply" described, I'm very sure that there are so much more complexities when it comes to this) I admire such courage and such capacity of individuals who can really bottle such emotions up. And those scenes which we always remember from our idol-drama series, the parts where one of the lead just stepped out to allow another pair to come together, turns around and leaves with a fading and fainting smile before breaking into tears. Awww...
This song partly describes my feelings... or at least I guess so. But the "competitor" is strong. And I look up to this competitor for his charisma and perhaps... his softer side. It reminds me of what Ms Shawna Lim asked when she was talking to the group of guys from NYP with me. She said: Why you guys are so rowdy and loud? How to expect a girl like you like that?!? It set me to reflect. But the answer is simple, guys only reveal softer sides to the girl he likes. That's to make the girl feel that she is much more exclusive to him. The underlying message is simple: You're important to me. That really explains why I am silent, soft, patient and apologetic... it's not hard to observe.
Changed-men. Recently, I witness many character changes. I saw how Reuben transformed from this crazy fella with some heck-care attitude to someone who is really meticulous and caring. Like with Wenjia, one of the prettiest girls in the school... obviously have to tone things down a bit. Wenjia can be as crazy as him, but they look... compatible! haha. Then there was Junlong, whose brother was notoriously known as the cassanova (okay.. no sex involved...) way back in 04-05 as he flirted with other girls even when he was with one of the prettiest girls in the school, Maxine. Junlong started off as someone who seemed like to flirt around a lot... and even landed himself into some big trouble when he spoke something about IP ppl that ultimately cost him a place in HAT. I watched him grew through the Floorball trainings and how his character changed in becoming a much more down-to-earth and dedicated individual (to the CCA at least.. not very sure about council). He did expressed some resentments about council, but I think he is looking at this really maturely and taking things really well. But obviously why not when Yuexi (apparently one of the prettier girls among his cohort) is in council? HAHAHA. But this guy really got some style man, I like the way he treats people, like walking her over to the other side of the bus stop and seeing her leave before crossing back to wait for his bus. It's the simple things that count and I like him that way (much better than his brother...)
Recently, I watched the movie (大城小事) by Leon Lai and Faye Wong. Even though it is already the third time I'm watching it, but I still love it a lot. It puts a very traditional context into relationships of Chinese who are living in one of the fastest growing metropolis in the world. Simply love it! Really wanted to watch it again and again. Perhaps next time, with somebody... haha.
Last Thoughts: Sometimes, it's too little too late. Or it was never meant to be? If it was never meant to be, then it wouldn't have been "late" in the first place...
Sorry Es, no tagboards yet. feel free to leave comments?
Monday, August 25, 2008
the nationalistic issue...
After 5 "fruitful" prelim papers, i resent to admit that i'm screwed up-side-down for prelims man. it's just half way through and more have yet to come. science department has yet to unleash their greatest prowness on us and the H3-mates have yet to witness the super-ultra-"zai"-integrated H3 econs paper on the very last day of prelims (yes.. like we haven't die enough and have to screw us up even further)
like what ms M like to say, "Jason, move on with life and think simple." Those verses under the MMM (ms masnidah's mantra) rings in my head during GP, even though I think i flung my GP this time round.
But one thing that I would really like to comment on. Olympics.
Like what many people said, this Olympics is sure to be the most politicized one after the cold war-era. You bet. Right from the start of 2008, China has been taking the beating from left-right-centre. From human rights to dumping taxes to toy quality, you name it, they have it. Westerners are really mocking the small-eyed people with the yellow skin the moment they have the chance. But one thing that they are all impressed with is the effort and the efficiency which the Chinese authorities dealt with the Earthquake disaster in contrast with their communist neighbours Myanmmar, that still had the guts to hold a constitution voting in the midst of all this. And even more so when they think they are very smart by rejecting everybody's help. You know, people might not be expressing this openly and politically, but I bet half of the world out there was uttering silent prayers that the burmese will all rise against the junta. Sometimes, it doesn't take an action to change the tide, but rather the will. We have some cause for optimism as the burmese are not entirely dumb, there are intellectuals who are really thinking on their feets and doing something about it. Very much unlike another communist counterpart, NKorea, playing around with nukes (okay.. alledged-nukes)
So back onto the Olympics. Man, that was one impressionistic opening ceremony, wasn't it? This statement is goes two ways. Impressionistic for the fact that we have been marvelled by the technicality and dedication by the performers. Yea.. thousands of them moving together and even picking the people with the similar height to ensure that everything looks uniform. (just like the PLA style of doing things) But obviously, we can't leave out the spectacular fireworks (what.. 500 million worth?) that lit up the sky of Beijing.
However, things are never that simple. Even more so when you have 4 billion eyes watching you and with thousands of preying-eyes of both the media and politicians (with various political agenda), some things can't escape. The immediate responses by the 2012 London Olympics Committee and the Chicago 2016 organising committee were the same: we won't have an opening ceremony as elaborate as that. Some even went on as far as suggesting that these "bunch of white men or guai-loh (in a colloquial fashion)" are feeling intimidated. Personally, I think this is really elaborate and even some level of cultural propaganda going on. The whole ceremony was about the Chinese's 5000 years of History and how it became of what it is today(I give credit for the effort in concising all this into a one-hour opening ceremony). But is the Olympics really about learning your host nation's history? It's not history class for 4 billion viewers worldwide?! We are here to witness to opening of an event that marks the confluence of sportsmen and sportswomen around the world and once again see the true aesthetics of atheleticsm (e.g. Phelps' 8 gold medals haul), just like how the ancient greeks adorn the beauty of the human body and its physical and mental capabilities. Not to mention the sportsmanship involved of course. Some critics pointed out that around the half-mark of the show, they felt "sian" and really want to get on with things. Simply because this is becoming too elaborate.
Then there was this issue about the fireworks. No doubt that the Chinese are the inventors of fireworks (and even at some point of time, stood at the pinacle of technological development). But hey, 500 million worth of fireworks? What about the guys at Szechuan? They got a 1 Billion relief package. And it just took 15 minutes to blow up half of that amount at Beijing. Personally... I thought it was too elaborate. My dad even said that after watching the opening ceremony, we don't have to watch NDP as the firework display in NDP will be totally dwarfed by the one in Opening Ceremony.
Onto the last issue: the girl. So I was talking with Mathew the other day and saying how the chinese atheletes are performing in the Olympics. We chatted about Singapore as a powerhouse in the fields of Swimming and how Singaporeans are hoping for results from both areas. Then I said,
J: You know, Rome wasn't built in a day. We might take years.. perhaps another 10-15 years?
M: Well, so was the Bird's Nest (referring to the chinese atheletes)
J: Well, it took just one cute girl to demolish it.
M: Haha
Honestly speaking, playing cheat in front of 4 Billion viewers. Somebody is asking for trouble man. The choice of a girl is to represent the purity, innocence in character (on top of the value of integrity in Olympics) and yet the act of lip-synching really made it so paradoxical that it seemed like a slap on the faces of the Chinese authorities. (and they even went as far as changing the laws to permitting the act.. WOAH!) Like what one of the journalist in Straits Times wrote: This simply meant that it doesnt matter you have the good voice (inferring to the qualities of individuals), but as long as you have the cute look, you're in! That speaks volume... really loud.
But to put things into perspective, I think the western press put a little bit too much focus on the girl itself. Do you have to exaggerate so much? Even Pavorotti lip-synched during the opening ceremony of Turin Winter Olympics and nobody spoke much about it. (well, maybe because it was still Pavarotti's voice and he was suffering pretty bad from cancer that time). So, Hey, this is about the games. Not the girl.
Little thoughts.. should stop here. Though I would really like to talk about the cultural side of things here.
last thoughts: I'm back to the days of waiting for sms-es. haha. just infer. but perhaps, not the right signals.
like what ms M like to say, "Jason, move on with life and think simple." Those verses under the MMM (ms masnidah's mantra) rings in my head during GP, even though I think i flung my GP this time round.
But one thing that I would really like to comment on. Olympics.
Like what many people said, this Olympics is sure to be the most politicized one after the cold war-era. You bet. Right from the start of 2008, China has been taking the beating from left-right-centre. From human rights to dumping taxes to toy quality, you name it, they have it. Westerners are really mocking the small-eyed people with the yellow skin the moment they have the chance. But one thing that they are all impressed with is the effort and the efficiency which the Chinese authorities dealt with the Earthquake disaster in contrast with their communist neighbours Myanmmar, that still had the guts to hold a constitution voting in the midst of all this. And even more so when they think they are very smart by rejecting everybody's help. You know, people might not be expressing this openly and politically, but I bet half of the world out there was uttering silent prayers that the burmese will all rise against the junta. Sometimes, it doesn't take an action to change the tide, but rather the will. We have some cause for optimism as the burmese are not entirely dumb, there are intellectuals who are really thinking on their feets and doing something about it. Very much unlike another communist counterpart, NKorea, playing around with nukes (okay.. alledged-nukes)
So back onto the Olympics. Man, that was one impressionistic opening ceremony, wasn't it? This statement is goes two ways. Impressionistic for the fact that we have been marvelled by the technicality and dedication by the performers. Yea.. thousands of them moving together and even picking the people with the similar height to ensure that everything looks uniform. (just like the PLA style of doing things) But obviously, we can't leave out the spectacular fireworks (what.. 500 million worth?) that lit up the sky of Beijing.
However, things are never that simple. Even more so when you have 4 billion eyes watching you and with thousands of preying-eyes of both the media and politicians (with various political agenda), some things can't escape. The immediate responses by the 2012 London Olympics Committee and the Chicago 2016 organising committee were the same: we won't have an opening ceremony as elaborate as that. Some even went on as far as suggesting that these "bunch of white men or guai-loh (in a colloquial fashion)" are feeling intimidated. Personally, I think this is really elaborate and even some level of cultural propaganda going on. The whole ceremony was about the Chinese's 5000 years of History and how it became of what it is today(I give credit for the effort in concising all this into a one-hour opening ceremony). But is the Olympics really about learning your host nation's history? It's not history class for 4 billion viewers worldwide?! We are here to witness to opening of an event that marks the confluence of sportsmen and sportswomen around the world and once again see the true aesthetics of atheleticsm (e.g. Phelps' 8 gold medals haul), just like how the ancient greeks adorn the beauty of the human body and its physical and mental capabilities. Not to mention the sportsmanship involved of course. Some critics pointed out that around the half-mark of the show, they felt "sian" and really want to get on with things. Simply because this is becoming too elaborate.
Then there was this issue about the fireworks. No doubt that the Chinese are the inventors of fireworks (and even at some point of time, stood at the pinacle of technological development). But hey, 500 million worth of fireworks? What about the guys at Szechuan? They got a 1 Billion relief package. And it just took 15 minutes to blow up half of that amount at Beijing. Personally... I thought it was too elaborate. My dad even said that after watching the opening ceremony, we don't have to watch NDP as the firework display in NDP will be totally dwarfed by the one in Opening Ceremony.
Onto the last issue: the girl. So I was talking with Mathew the other day and saying how the chinese atheletes are performing in the Olympics. We chatted about Singapore as a powerhouse in the fields of Swimming and how Singaporeans are hoping for results from both areas. Then I said,
J: You know, Rome wasn't built in a day. We might take years.. perhaps another 10-15 years?
M: Well, so was the Bird's Nest (referring to the chinese atheletes)
J: Well, it took just one cute girl to demolish it.
M: Haha
Honestly speaking, playing cheat in front of 4 Billion viewers. Somebody is asking for trouble man. The choice of a girl is to represent the purity, innocence in character (on top of the value of integrity in Olympics) and yet the act of lip-synching really made it so paradoxical that it seemed like a slap on the faces of the Chinese authorities. (and they even went as far as changing the laws to permitting the act.. WOAH!) Like what one of the journalist in Straits Times wrote: This simply meant that it doesnt matter you have the good voice (inferring to the qualities of individuals), but as long as you have the cute look, you're in! That speaks volume... really loud.
But to put things into perspective, I think the western press put a little bit too much focus on the girl itself. Do you have to exaggerate so much? Even Pavorotti lip-synched during the opening ceremony of Turin Winter Olympics and nobody spoke much about it. (well, maybe because it was still Pavarotti's voice and he was suffering pretty bad from cancer that time). So, Hey, this is about the games. Not the girl.
Little thoughts.. should stop here. Though I would really like to talk about the cultural side of things here.
last thoughts: I'm back to the days of waiting for sms-es. haha. just infer. but perhaps, not the right signals.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
A little bit... nationalistic?
It has been some time since I last posted something up here. Many things happened in between and I shall attempt to pull those thoughts in together into one piece.
Facebook and GP
Facebook is indeed some sort of social phenomenon that is worth thinking about. The textbook answer to the benefit that Facebook brings is the socio-communal network that one can form online and to keep in touch with people who lives overseas or just to have another portal for a group of close friends to chat and play around in. Obviously, there are two sides to the coin. The negative side about Facebook is the cheapen-ing the definition of a "Friend" or declining the quality of relationships. You can have an entourage that rolls like 500+ people long but i can make a relatively sure bet that you don't even talk to 10% of them. I just went to check out my home page a while ago and saw my friend Joyce tagging on her photos. Curious I was, so I just went to see her photo album and to my surprise, I just realised that this "Joyce" is the sweet-looking (yes.. im very neutral here) tennis girl I see in school. And more ridiculously, I didn't know her name until I accidentally browsed her photo album. I know I'm a bad senior who reserves little brain space for remembering my junior's name. But come to think of it... I didn't even know that I have this girl as my "friend" on Facebook when I hardly know ANYTHING about her in reality. Then again, I think the same applies in the opposite direction. She hardly knows about me. Haha.
National Day
So today is (well.. actually yesterday) national day and it's a time to ponder about national issues (even though we should be pondering about them everyday, not just national day). Letts Tan was reading the national day message from MOE and I just felt that NJCians hardly cares about this country?! People were blabbering and talking throughout. I know it's tough to answer the question "why should I be listening to this guy reading out the national day message?", but hey, this happens only once a year and even if the message is crap (crap because the message is about the same every year and for the fact that we have been brainwashed enough from social studies), it is some good crap that deserves some respect at least.
Moving onto the show segment. Not too bad, at least they got me up on my feet to sing along with their... out-of-tune singers. talking about national songs, i just missed those good old days where we had stefanie sun, kit chan and tanya chua. their national songs were bloody good and the lyrics (the chinese lyrics in particular) is really impressionistic and the melody is just unforgetable. Somehow, I just feel that chinese lyrics are more sentimental and more compassionate when it comes to bringing the message of the song across...
Ms Oon
So I was talking to ms oon on the way back from school on 156. and once again, she just impressed me with that extremely sharp critical thinking and observation of the singaporean society. We were talking about the scrapping of 1st 3 months and then talked about talent development in Singapore. So we somehow ended up talking about the development of artistic talents in Singapore. The sad fact is that we are results-oriented people and have relatively low capacity for failure and we perversely apply it into the area of the arts -though the true definition of failure in the artistic realm is pretty much difficult to be justified in rational sense-. Then ms oon asked, is the level of artistic development a true reflection of our development as a society. I just stonned down there for five seconds with my mouth opened. Reason being, we have this idea that when we have the capacity and the ability to valuate something such as art, we have moved beyond the need to address our material satisfaction. But is art really that valuable? So much so that we value it above material gains and use it as a benchmark for the development of a society. Or is it just a bourgeois thing that doesnt really reflects our position in the developmental ladder of society? Totally mind blogging and it was so lucky that we reached Bishan bus stop and I don't need to think too much about it...
Facebook and GP
Facebook is indeed some sort of social phenomenon that is worth thinking about. The textbook answer to the benefit that Facebook brings is the socio-communal network that one can form online and to keep in touch with people who lives overseas or just to have another portal for a group of close friends to chat and play around in. Obviously, there are two sides to the coin. The negative side about Facebook is the cheapen-ing the definition of a "Friend" or declining the quality of relationships. You can have an entourage that rolls like 500+ people long but i can make a relatively sure bet that you don't even talk to 10% of them. I just went to check out my home page a while ago and saw my friend Joyce tagging on her photos. Curious I was, so I just went to see her photo album and to my surprise, I just realised that this "Joyce" is the sweet-looking (yes.. im very neutral here) tennis girl I see in school. And more ridiculously, I didn't know her name until I accidentally browsed her photo album. I know I'm a bad senior who reserves little brain space for remembering my junior's name. But come to think of it... I didn't even know that I have this girl as my "friend" on Facebook when I hardly know ANYTHING about her in reality. Then again, I think the same applies in the opposite direction. She hardly knows about me. Haha.
National Day
So today is (well.. actually yesterday) national day and it's a time to ponder about national issues (even though we should be pondering about them everyday, not just national day). Letts Tan was reading the national day message from MOE and I just felt that NJCians hardly cares about this country?! People were blabbering and talking throughout. I know it's tough to answer the question "why should I be listening to this guy reading out the national day message?", but hey, this happens only once a year and even if the message is crap (crap because the message is about the same every year and for the fact that we have been brainwashed enough from social studies), it is some good crap that deserves some respect at least.
Moving onto the show segment. Not too bad, at least they got me up on my feet to sing along with their... out-of-tune singers. talking about national songs, i just missed those good old days where we had stefanie sun, kit chan and tanya chua. their national songs were bloody good and the lyrics (the chinese lyrics in particular) is really impressionistic and the melody is just unforgetable. Somehow, I just feel that chinese lyrics are more sentimental and more compassionate when it comes to bringing the message of the song across...
Ms Oon
So I was talking to ms oon on the way back from school on 156. and once again, she just impressed me with that extremely sharp critical thinking and observation of the singaporean society. We were talking about the scrapping of 1st 3 months and then talked about talent development in Singapore. So we somehow ended up talking about the development of artistic talents in Singapore. The sad fact is that we are results-oriented people and have relatively low capacity for failure and we perversely apply it into the area of the arts -though the true definition of failure in the artistic realm is pretty much difficult to be justified in rational sense-. Then ms oon asked, is the level of artistic development a true reflection of our development as a society. I just stonned down there for five seconds with my mouth opened. Reason being, we have this idea that when we have the capacity and the ability to valuate something such as art, we have moved beyond the need to address our material satisfaction. But is art really that valuable? So much so that we value it above material gains and use it as a benchmark for the development of a society. Or is it just a bourgeois thing that doesnt really reflects our position in the developmental ladder of society? Totally mind blogging and it was so lucky that we reached Bishan bus stop and I don't need to think too much about it...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
There is no charge to awesomeness
Interesting tagline (or whatever you call it). Perhaps what the message sent through the movie is right; to be awesome, all you need to to do is be yourself.
That aside, there has been quite a lot of happenings during this June Holidays which I would say, it is pretty well spent. I didn't travel like some of my friends did, or did some crazy things like skydiving and bungee-jumping. All I did was training, playing, watching football and going out with friends. This incurred a huge budget deficit for the month of June, but I will say that it is pretty well spent. I guess the greatest difference that this holiday had as compared to the other holidays is that I didn't have to go for research attachment (and no Common Tests of course). This really freed up a lot of time for me to do whatever I want.
One thing that striked me was one of the issues that was brought up on Sunday Times a few days ago. The article about scrapping Miss Singapore Universe. Honestly speaking, we are a nation with women (and men) with exceptional and unique facial and body features that can well define beauty (or handsome-ness) beyond words. Do we lack pretty and handsome people in Singapore? Hell NO! Take a walk down Orchard Road, have a burger at Raffles City or shop at Vivo City for a day, you will realise that we have people that has both style and substance (and the "looks" and curves" as well). From the way we dress, to the handbag/backpack we choose to carry out with us, we demand ourselves to be perfect - whether it is out of respect for the person(s) we are going out with or just flaunting the tangible and the intangible assets. We have the "looks" and the "faces", but perhaps, what we lack is some sort of civilised "attitudes".
I guess that is why "simplicity is beauty". When we are simple (or at least look simple), we have nothing to flaunt. All we have to "flaunt" -in this case "show" will be a better word- is our own character and personality. That is what makes us shine much brighter than those with brain and brawns, with style and substance.
Moving on, like what I mentioned above, I had more time to interact with people whom I know and find out more about them. I want to write this down so that I won't forget about this person who is exceptionally unique in his/her own way.(I shall use 'T' as his/her name, just another letter apart from 'X' which I used the other time)
T is one of the most mysterious people I have ever met and I choose to derive his/her uniqueness from this personality. He/she strikes a VERY well balance between his/her private life and his/her school life. Already pretty active in school, he/she is even more active outside school! From hip-hop to golf, to piano, he/she does all this outside school! I truly admire this passive courage of his/hers; to be able to live without close interaction from friends whom you know from school (Perhaps she does have interactions with a group of close friends in school which I don't know). I guess most of us feel so compelled to stay within the community of our classmates or friends, that we hardly do something outside this community. We desire that sort of attention from this community which we convert it as a motivational or supportive force in our daily activities. I don't know how this person does it, but he/she can live without this. That aside, I must admit that he/she has a nice-looking face which pretty well shrouds his/her mysterious personality. He/she even has this mildly-angry-but-actually-not-angry look which makes me pretty apologetic to him/her when I try to speculate someting about him/her. I don't really know T very well I must say, because "I don't know my [his/her] life". Nevertheless, he/she is defintely an interesting person to hang out with.
Last thoughts: haha... not very comtemplative this time round. School's about to reopen :(
That aside, there has been quite a lot of happenings during this June Holidays which I would say, it is pretty well spent. I didn't travel like some of my friends did, or did some crazy things like skydiving and bungee-jumping. All I did was training, playing, watching football and going out with friends. This incurred a huge budget deficit for the month of June, but I will say that it is pretty well spent. I guess the greatest difference that this holiday had as compared to the other holidays is that I didn't have to go for research attachment (and no Common Tests of course). This really freed up a lot of time for me to do whatever I want.
One thing that striked me was one of the issues that was brought up on Sunday Times a few days ago. The article about scrapping Miss Singapore Universe. Honestly speaking, we are a nation with women (and men) with exceptional and unique facial and body features that can well define beauty (or handsome-ness) beyond words. Do we lack pretty and handsome people in Singapore? Hell NO! Take a walk down Orchard Road, have a burger at Raffles City or shop at Vivo City for a day, you will realise that we have people that has both style and substance (and the "looks" and curves" as well). From the way we dress, to the handbag/backpack we choose to carry out with us, we demand ourselves to be perfect - whether it is out of respect for the person(s) we are going out with or just flaunting the tangible and the intangible assets. We have the "looks" and the "faces", but perhaps, what we lack is some sort of civilised "attitudes".
I guess that is why "simplicity is beauty". When we are simple (or at least look simple), we have nothing to flaunt. All we have to "flaunt" -in this case "show" will be a better word- is our own character and personality. That is what makes us shine much brighter than those with brain and brawns, with style and substance.
Moving on, like what I mentioned above, I had more time to interact with people whom I know and find out more about them. I want to write this down so that I won't forget about this person who is exceptionally unique in his/her own way.(I shall use 'T' as his/her name, just another letter apart from 'X' which I used the other time)
T is one of the most mysterious people I have ever met and I choose to derive his/her uniqueness from this personality. He/she strikes a VERY well balance between his/her private life and his/her school life. Already pretty active in school, he/she is even more active outside school! From hip-hop to golf, to piano, he/she does all this outside school! I truly admire this passive courage of his/hers; to be able to live without close interaction from friends whom you know from school (Perhaps she does have interactions with a group of close friends in school which I don't know). I guess most of us feel so compelled to stay within the community of our classmates or friends, that we hardly do something outside this community. We desire that sort of attention from this community which we convert it as a motivational or supportive force in our daily activities. I don't know how this person does it, but he/she can live without this. That aside, I must admit that he/she has a nice-looking face which pretty well shrouds his/her mysterious personality. He/she even has this mildly-angry-but-actually-not-angry look which makes me pretty apologetic to him/her when I try to speculate someting about him/her. I don't really know T very well I must say, because "I don't know my [his/her] life". Nevertheless, he/she is defintely an interesting person to hang out with.
Last thoughts: haha... not very comtemplative this time round. School's about to reopen :(
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