complexity

The human mind is REALLY complex, sophisticated, creative thinking machine. In fact, it can store information that is 500 times the Encyclopedia of Britanica (not that I'm going to read it 500 times to prove this, but that's what I learnt from discovery channel).

As an budding economist/financial manager (well.. I HOPE), I do admire the capabilities of the human mind. To be aware of the slightest change in our environment and producing equally sophisticated responses to deal with such changes, be it the stock market, driving the car or choosing my running course. We have the ability to think independently and yet collaborate effectively. A research done by some guy in New York observed that people actually walk in "platoons" to avoid crashing onto each other and blockin each other's way to ensure maximum efficiency is achieved. As someone who loves economics, I admire the fundamental principles of economics: self interest, rationality and insatiability. It simply explains almost everything happening on this Earth and how we human beings are dealing with each other everyday.

But the beauty of it is also the ugly side of it. Sometimes I hate things being reduced to formulae and equations, theories and predictions. We are so complex that we think ahead of time, we extrapolate the current things into future occurences, we think we know it all when we don't know it all. And we even think that knowing it all will give the best outcome. I resent myself for reducing relationships into mutual-beneficial equations sometimes i.e. I work with you because I believe that I can get something out of you and you will get something out of me. I also resent myself for thinking what others think about me; I will have to consciously control every word that I'm saying to leave good impressions (be it in front of friends, teachers, family and perhaps even with... umm.). I feel that I have an ulterior motive everytime I do things.

I have tried some personality tests before, but I just don't like it when my brain actually process the choices and tries to decipher which choice will represent which quality and that I should choose that option to show that I'm a romantic/nice/helpful/cheerful person. Man.. I just beat the test, I know what the test is asking for?! Then why should I even bother about the doing the test in the first place???

Final thoughts: Distracted. Seriously distracted... not sure how can I get over this one at this point of time...