Again, I have so much that I want to say. My mind is so bottled up with thoughts that I don't know which one should be let out first. Or whether I should just let those thoughts sink to the bottom.
Something funny, but not of ANY entertainment value
Two boys were called up to sing during the assembly for being caught disrupting the assembly. Honestly speaking, I don't see how this is some form of punishment or humiliation (if it was meant to be like that). Sometimes, you just got to wonder what is Ms P is thinking. People could hardly sing the national anthem without looking at the pair of "vanguards" standing next to Mervin. Nevertheless, she said her "disclaimers" and we kind of understood the underlying message. Even though it wasnt very obvious right from the start. But I have to applaud Ms P for thinking of punishment techniques which is more creative than some of the PW presentations.
The Mid CTs Syndromme
For the past week or so, I have been slogging my ass out for some last minute cramming for this CTs. Did my effort pay off? Honestly speaking, I have no idea. I have lots of mixed feelings after every paper. I thought I had some good arguments here and there, and some which are most probably fallacious and unsound. Maths was pretty disastrous given that I left about 20 marks blank. Chemistry was... around the same, 20 marks blank. I don't know if this is good, I mean, somebody might have left more than 20 marks blank... Right now, I have this lethargy to study for the bio paper. I have to read through one thick stack of notes and I just felt like boiling them and drink it up.
A Big Miss?
I was nominated to represent the college for the Hugh Obrien World Youth Leadership Conference in Washington. At the start, it sounded really cool, but the price tag isn't. A whopping $4000 for the entire trip. WOAH. Perhaps it is by chance or some sort of intelligent design, I forgot to tell Ms M and she took it as "I'm not interested", so my name wasn't even submitted to VC. Perhaps, this might be something good. If I'm going for that, I would be misssing out on NEFMQ and Floorball Nationals and revision for prelims.
So perhaps, it isn't such a big miss after all.
Character Analysis
I'm not much of a lit student, but I have been trying real hard in observing people recently. (whether I'm good at it is another issue) Let's start with Ms M. Ms M is a VERY VERY VERY VERY knowledgable teacher (she knows things from happenings in german banks to fast food restaurants in Russia to car names in US and etc and etc and etc), but sometimes, her style of teaching is rather ineffective. Half of the time, it was a monologue and us looking like a flaccid piece of sponge and trying to absorb something from the words out of her mouth. Sometimes, you just can't have the best of both worlds. You can have a very good teacher with a hateable character OR you can have a rather not-so-good teacher with a lovable character. If you come across both, (which I think you need a poisson distribution to calculate that) you're in luck. So please go buy 4D/TOTO/Lottery.
X has been someone whom I admire for some time. Honestly speaking, I am DAMN impressed about this person's work rate and X's drive for perfection. X belongs to the higher class, not because of her family. From the way X blogs, from the way X spends and from the way X argues (with me, most of the time), you just know that X is someone of that calibre and X will make it big in the future. On the other hand, (I think) X needs confidence even though X has everything at her fingertips. X needs people who can empathise and absorb X infectious drive for perfection. Either by telling X that the level of perfection which X demands from Xself is VERY HIGH already, or by accompanying X to be as high while retaining that important value of humility. X needs people whom X admires, not someone who admires X, so that X remains inspired and continues to realise that there is a higher level of excellence which X can (and eventually) achieve. X needs someone of logic, reason and authority, not someone who is just plainly knowledgable and flaunting he is (more) knowledgable; to correct X of the most minute flaws which X hardly sees or to point out the fallacies which X ferociously defend as the truth.
Ultimately, X needs someone to walk the journey with X, and not someone who thinks that he/she understands X because the more you think you understand X, the less you are. Does that imply that I just typed out another paragraph of crap. Perhaps so. Obviously, I'm not one of those whom X will admire. I (should have) know right from the start.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Perspectives part 2
NJC leadership symposium
This is the second time that I'm organising this "apex of NJC's leadership development programme". As the Publicity Head, there are TONNES of work to settle before the actual event itself. I've learnt a lot more about leadership, not so much in business, but rather leading a group of people, managing them and fitting them into the correct positions so that their strengths can complement each other. Things turned out to be pretty good, especially with Dr Lim micromanaging a lot of stuff for me as well. Kudos to her.
However, there are lots of places where we can improve on. One of the greatest weakness of the org comm is that there are TOO MANY PEOPLE!!! we are overstaffed! call this x-inefficiency or bureaucracy at work.
At the end of the day, the sake sushi treat just made it all worth while. It is a really rare opportunity for sapphires people to mix with councillors. I discovered that Junyang, Edmund, Aloysius and Xinglong are pretty humourous people, even though they might look geeky from the front!
MAS JC ESSAY
Writing this essay really makes me feel impressed of Lee Kuan Yew and Co. It took me like 1 whole week to think of a vision for singapore 2013, and LKY & Co. had their vision for singapore for about 30-40 years wayyy back in 1960. Consider that there is no such thing as Internet back then. Where are you going to get all the info in the world???
Enough for now... I had deeper thoughts about things that happened and observed recently... trying very hard to understand these inner emotions...
This is the second time that I'm organising this "apex of NJC's leadership development programme". As the Publicity Head, there are TONNES of work to settle before the actual event itself. I've learnt a lot more about leadership, not so much in business, but rather leading a group of people, managing them and fitting them into the correct positions so that their strengths can complement each other. Things turned out to be pretty good, especially with Dr Lim micromanaging a lot of stuff for me as well. Kudos to her.
However, there are lots of places where we can improve on. One of the greatest weakness of the org comm is that there are TOO MANY PEOPLE!!! we are overstaffed! call this x-inefficiency or bureaucracy at work.
At the end of the day, the sake sushi treat just made it all worth while. It is a really rare opportunity for sapphires people to mix with councillors. I discovered that Junyang, Edmund, Aloysius and Xinglong are pretty humourous people, even though they might look geeky from the front!
MAS JC ESSAY
Writing this essay really makes me feel impressed of Lee Kuan Yew and Co. It took me like 1 whole week to think of a vision for singapore 2013, and LKY & Co. had their vision for singapore for about 30-40 years wayyy back in 1960. Consider that there is no such thing as Internet back then. Where are you going to get all the info in the world???
Enough for now... I had deeper thoughts about things that happened and observed recently... trying very hard to understand these inner emotions...
Friday, April 18, 2008
perspectives...
It has been a while since I had wrote something up here. No one will read it anyway. Perhaps not.
Many things happened for the past month or so. Starting off with the CSR trip to Thailand with a group of NP students, then I fractured my ankle during training, Leadership Symposium, MAS JC essay and throughout this time, Pre-U sem.
I really want to write tonnes about these events, but in short, from all these experiences, I've learnt things from a perspective.
The trip to Thailand was quite an eye-opener. My impression of Bangkok very much stops at the big shopping malls and the cheap stuff that I can buy in MBK or Cha-Tut-Chat. I know poverty exists and not to mention the infamous traffic jams. This trip showed me how poverty is REALLY like by going far away from the urban areas (we aren't even talking slumps here!) to rural places where there is semi-arid lands, some labour-intensive manufacturing plants, subsistence farming etc. Having opportunities to visit agencies such as the World Bank, UNESCO, UNICEF was good learning experience as we get to see things from a more macro point of view, though poverty was merely spelt out. But what struck me the most was the things that PDA did to ensure self-sustainability as an NGO while coming up with new ways to alleviate poverty. (microcredit is not their idea, but they did apply it very well) But what makes things possible and fun was all the people whom I went with. These people are really cool and smart. Leaders of their respective fields but yet exercising ability to socialise and mix around with other "strangers" like me.
Fracturing ankle wasn't nice at all. I trained 3 years for this year's nationals and now I'm out for 3 months. Most probably, I'll be missing the floorball one as well. Though this kept me at the sidelines, I began to see things differently as people treated me differently. Some of my friends had conscious attempts to provide assistance while some stopped at the level where they just asked about my condition. Fair enough, not all friends can be good friends. Neither would I want to have friends that stick with me just because they sympathise me.
Many things happened for the past month or so. Starting off with the CSR trip to Thailand with a group of NP students, then I fractured my ankle during training, Leadership Symposium, MAS JC essay and throughout this time, Pre-U sem.
I really want to write tonnes about these events, but in short, from all these experiences, I've learnt things from a perspective.
The trip to Thailand was quite an eye-opener. My impression of Bangkok very much stops at the big shopping malls and the cheap stuff that I can buy in MBK or Cha-Tut-Chat. I know poverty exists and not to mention the infamous traffic jams. This trip showed me how poverty is REALLY like by going far away from the urban areas (we aren't even talking slumps here!) to rural places where there is semi-arid lands, some labour-intensive manufacturing plants, subsistence farming etc. Having opportunities to visit agencies such as the World Bank, UNESCO, UNICEF was good learning experience as we get to see things from a more macro point of view, though poverty was merely spelt out. But what struck me the most was the things that PDA did to ensure self-sustainability as an NGO while coming up with new ways to alleviate poverty. (microcredit is not their idea, but they did apply it very well) But what makes things possible and fun was all the people whom I went with. These people are really cool and smart. Leaders of their respective fields but yet exercising ability to socialise and mix around with other "strangers" like me.
Fracturing ankle wasn't nice at all. I trained 3 years for this year's nationals and now I'm out for 3 months. Most probably, I'll be missing the floorball one as well. Though this kept me at the sidelines, I began to see things differently as people treated me differently. Some of my friends had conscious attempts to provide assistance while some stopped at the level where they just asked about my condition. Fair enough, not all friends can be good friends. Neither would I want to have friends that stick with me just because they sympathise me.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Week 10
SSEF 2008
It ended today. Leaving countless disappointed and a deserving few jumping with joy. A year of blood and sweat, all conjugated on that single piece of A0 paper. My key to glory, my key to "immortality".
Sadly, it wasn't a glorious day, nor the day which marks my presence in NJC. It was nothing, but disappointment. It was a harsh fact and a cruel reality that I had to accept, my project was simply not the best and didn't deserve an award. High hopes also mean high falls, or worse still, falling into the dark abyss. Perhaps, it was never meant to be me. Perhaps, that is the signal for me to "hang my labcoat" and pursue some other passions in life. Perhaps, it is another test, another obstacle that I have to face in life.
Communication
It goes two ways: transmission and interpretation. When these two functions do not occur on the same medium, misunderstandings will occur. Transmission may carry certain intention or meaning, but interpretation is simply up to your imagination or what you choose to believe in. When both parties misinterpret simultaneously, the relationship comes to a test. A test of loyalty. A test of trust.
Nobody is wrong, nobody is right. When we walk away from each other, our perspectives are never the same. NEVER the same again.
NP
Apart from SSEF, for the past two days, I had been mixing around with a group of Ngee Ann Poly students! I find that they are extremely fun and interesting people to be with! The programmes they go through are very much like IP and I really missed that type of curriculum. The liberty they enjoy is immeasurable as compared to ours. The culture is so diverse that makes NJ a really dull place to be in.
People like Maxine, Hong Wei, Joyce, Jonathan and Leon, are people with unique characters and personality. Their leadership capabilities and the love they have for their passion is something which I've never seen before.
I am looking forward to this Thailand Trip and find out more about you guys!
It ended today. Leaving countless disappointed and a deserving few jumping with joy. A year of blood and sweat, all conjugated on that single piece of A0 paper. My key to glory, my key to "immortality".
Sadly, it wasn't a glorious day, nor the day which marks my presence in NJC. It was nothing, but disappointment. It was a harsh fact and a cruel reality that I had to accept, my project was simply not the best and didn't deserve an award. High hopes also mean high falls, or worse still, falling into the dark abyss. Perhaps, it was never meant to be me. Perhaps, that is the signal for me to "hang my labcoat" and pursue some other passions in life. Perhaps, it is another test, another obstacle that I have to face in life.
Communication
It goes two ways: transmission and interpretation. When these two functions do not occur on the same medium, misunderstandings will occur. Transmission may carry certain intention or meaning, but interpretation is simply up to your imagination or what you choose to believe in. When both parties misinterpret simultaneously, the relationship comes to a test. A test of loyalty. A test of trust.
Nobody is wrong, nobody is right. When we walk away from each other, our perspectives are never the same. NEVER the same again.
NP
Apart from SSEF, for the past two days, I had been mixing around with a group of Ngee Ann Poly students! I find that they are extremely fun and interesting people to be with! The programmes they go through are very much like IP and I really missed that type of curriculum. The liberty they enjoy is immeasurable as compared to ours. The culture is so diverse that makes NJ a really dull place to be in.
People like Maxine, Hong Wei, Joyce, Jonathan and Leon, are people with unique characters and personality. Their leadership capabilities and the love they have for their passion is something which I've never seen before.
I am looking forward to this Thailand Trip and find out more about you guys!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Quiet Week
It has been a quiet week, both in school and at home. I didn't feel like talking much, thinking that I should step back a little and start observing changes happening around me. In addition to that, Dad and Mom went to Japan and left me "home alone", so I have a larger space to reflect as well.
You've not been talking to me for the whole week... wonder if something happened. Or because nothing happened and remained that way? Sometimes, I just wish that there could be someone who often needs my help. It makes me feel special or treasured in one way or another. Or rather a meaning to live for. I think, I know a little bit more about you, and that's why the dynamics are different and some things will never happen...
Anyway, I went out to watch "The Leap Years", alone. The story is really touching one (most romantic movies do actually), but what makes this story special is the mix of Asian values together with the Western Literature's ideas about Love, truly fitting into the Singaporean context. Some of the scenes are really heartwarming and romantic, for example, the four girls, the first date at the rooftop and the run in the rain. In Love stories, we often talk about fate and promises, and this movie has both intertwined and truly showed how excruciating it can be to be separated from your other half. One of the things which the actor said was really thought-provoking, he said," I think you are really brave. Most people cannot stand the loneliness and long to be loved by someone. You are willing to wait for the right one to pop up. You are really special." Well, I think I fall into the majority group, not that I am that spectacular when it comes to love matters.
The only flaw that the film has is that the 4 years of waiting in between was not explicitly shown or expressed, rather it was only expressed in forms of letters, narration and quotes. What happened in between was not accounted for.... maybe it was intentional, just that I failed to see the reason behind doing so. Perhaps having some mysteries in between will spice things up a bit.
You've not been talking to me for the whole week... wonder if something happened. Or because nothing happened and remained that way? Sometimes, I just wish that there could be someone who often needs my help. It makes me feel special or treasured in one way or another. Or rather a meaning to live for. I think, I know a little bit more about you, and that's why the dynamics are different and some things will never happen...
Anyway, I went out to watch "The Leap Years", alone. The story is really touching one (most romantic movies do actually), but what makes this story special is the mix of Asian values together with the Western Literature's ideas about Love, truly fitting into the Singaporean context. Some of the scenes are really heartwarming and romantic, for example, the four girls, the first date at the rooftop and the run in the rain. In Love stories, we often talk about fate and promises, and this movie has both intertwined and truly showed how excruciating it can be to be separated from your other half. One of the things which the actor said was really thought-provoking, he said," I think you are really brave. Most people cannot stand the loneliness and long to be loved by someone. You are willing to wait for the right one to pop up. You are really special." Well, I think I fall into the majority group, not that I am that spectacular when it comes to love matters.
The only flaw that the film has is that the 4 years of waiting in between was not explicitly shown or expressed, rather it was only expressed in forms of letters, narration and quotes. What happened in between was not accounted for.... maybe it was intentional, just that I failed to see the reason behind doing so. Perhaps having some mysteries in between will spice things up a bit.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Just another tiring day.
It's WEDNESDAY! Half of the week is gone! Half a week closer to A levels :( BOO...
I was either pissed or emo. Somehow, I just didn't like training today. We started at 4pm with some stroking and then mini-competitions that were hardly productive. Then, we played Dog-&-Bone, using shuttlecocks. Fun... but not training at all. I think leisure playing is more beneficial than this. The drills were just some plain ones, nothing interesting, and before I can even get into the hype of training, it's 630pm and we packed up! WTH?! For once, I think training was so slack and meaningless.
On another note, I realised that I'm not an observant person. I don't know about "secret 1" and "secret 2" when it is obvious to the whole world! And worse still, "subjects" in secret 1 are relatively closer friends of mine!!! Then, there is another person, just when I thought I know him/her very well, I actually realised that I don't know him/her very well (at all)! I realised that the relationship here is based on something... which is very periodical. HAHAHA. (I'm trying to censor myself from saying too much stuff here) I only know so little and realised that we are actually two worlds apart! (apart from the fact that we study in NJC...) These two incidents really hit me hard and I feel so bad about it. I just don't know so many things happening around me. All I cared were LS, Thailand Trip, SSEF and blah... I feel so separated from the community around me. Lonely.
Dad and Mom are leaving for Japan tomorrow morning, so that makes me more lonelier. erm.. yes, lots of freedom, which I don't really crave for. Perhaps Irwan was right, I look quite like a mommy's boy.
Shall listen to Class 95 tonight.... not in a mood for Perfect 10.
I was either pissed or emo. Somehow, I just didn't like training today. We started at 4pm with some stroking and then mini-competitions that were hardly productive. Then, we played Dog-&-Bone, using shuttlecocks. Fun... but not training at all. I think leisure playing is more beneficial than this. The drills were just some plain ones, nothing interesting, and before I can even get into the hype of training, it's 630pm and we packed up! WTH?! For once, I think training was so slack and meaningless.
On another note, I realised that I'm not an observant person. I don't know about "secret 1" and "secret 2" when it is obvious to the whole world! And worse still, "subjects" in secret 1 are relatively closer friends of mine!!! Then, there is another person, just when I thought I know him/her very well, I actually realised that I don't know him/her very well (at all)! I realised that the relationship here is based on something... which is very periodical. HAHAHA. (I'm trying to censor myself from saying too much stuff here) I only know so little and realised that we are actually two worlds apart! (apart from the fact that we study in NJC...) These two incidents really hit me hard and I feel so bad about it. I just don't know so many things happening around me. All I cared were LS, Thailand Trip, SSEF and blah... I feel so separated from the community around me. Lonely.
Dad and Mom are leaving for Japan tomorrow morning, so that makes me more lonelier. erm.. yes, lots of freedom, which I don't really crave for. Perhaps Irwan was right, I look quite like a mommy's boy.
Shall listen to Class 95 tonight.... not in a mood for Perfect 10.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
conflicting interests?
Man... I'm the most "senior" player in the team and yet they chose to leave me out of the team. Really disappointed with the team and myself.
4 years of contribution, but at the end of the day, the effort is not recognised. but I'm also disappointed with myself because I really missed lots of training due to other commitments. but come to think of it, what can Badminton REALLY give me? we fought hard, but effort is not recognised at all?! VC decided to use the hall as replacement without even considering the problems that other CCA groups will face. She decided to listen to the solutions after making decisions! Wth is that?! Besides, LT is presentable enough for college day activity already!
This issue really makes us think what does scarcity really means? We are constantly running out of time and resources. So does scarcity exists because of the lack of resources, or the insatiable demand for more resources? One is the physical aspect of scarcity, while the other lies in the mentality of man. Sadly, the repressed greed can never be eradicated; man chooses to justify using the inherent definition of the word "insatiable". What an evil word.
The relationship between two people can sometimes be cynically defined as a partnership to maximise both parties' benefit or welfare. But a meaningful relationship (not necessarily Love okay!) goes beyond, or rather does not even consider the existence of benefits and welfare. It is because of the interest of the other person which makes friendship or love unquantifiable, or more romantically known as "priceless".
To me, doing questions and helping out was never a chore. In fact, I've lost count how many times have I helped "ABC". I willingly accept and yet I naively expect something in return. How many times have I sat in front of "ABC", just to squeeze a few minutes of interaction time in the tightest schedule of mine? So bad of me, I shouldn't expect things in return right?
The movie "The Leap Years" really provides a romantic dose of reasons for someone to learn why Love is worth your wait; why seemingly naive or improbable promises between two people can stand the test of time. I agree with what the lead actor said during the interview, he said,"being away from your love one for just a month can be extremely excruciating, you can never imagine how 12 years can be like to anybody".
Totally agree.
Think I shall watch the movie this weekend... wonder if I can find anyone to watch with me. I suppose most of them will want to watch PS: I Love You instead....
4 years of contribution, but at the end of the day, the effort is not recognised. but I'm also disappointed with myself because I really missed lots of training due to other commitments. but come to think of it, what can Badminton REALLY give me? we fought hard, but effort is not recognised at all?! VC decided to use the hall as replacement without even considering the problems that other CCA groups will face. She decided to listen to the solutions after making decisions! Wth is that?! Besides, LT is presentable enough for college day activity already!
This issue really makes us think what does scarcity really means? We are constantly running out of time and resources. So does scarcity exists because of the lack of resources, or the insatiable demand for more resources? One is the physical aspect of scarcity, while the other lies in the mentality of man. Sadly, the repressed greed can never be eradicated; man chooses to justify using the inherent definition of the word "insatiable". What an evil word.
The relationship between two people can sometimes be cynically defined as a partnership to maximise both parties' benefit or welfare. But a meaningful relationship (not necessarily Love okay!) goes beyond, or rather does not even consider the existence of benefits and welfare. It is because of the interest of the other person which makes friendship or love unquantifiable, or more romantically known as "priceless".
To me, doing questions and helping out was never a chore. In fact, I've lost count how many times have I helped "ABC". I willingly accept and yet I naively expect something in return. How many times have I sat in front of "ABC", just to squeeze a few minutes of interaction time in the tightest schedule of mine? So bad of me, I shouldn't expect things in return right?
The movie "The Leap Years" really provides a romantic dose of reasons for someone to learn why Love is worth your wait; why seemingly naive or improbable promises between two people can stand the test of time. I agree with what the lead actor said during the interview, he said,"being away from your love one for just a month can be extremely excruciating, you can never imagine how 12 years can be like to anybody".
Totally agree.
Think I shall watch the movie this weekend... wonder if I can find anyone to watch with me. I suppose most of them will want to watch PS: I Love You instead....
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